


To Sort a Slytherin

by SlytherinHead



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Other, Slytherins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-08-11
Updated: 2013-02-22
Packaged: 2017-11-11 21:46:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/483232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SlytherinHead/pseuds/SlytherinHead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Come in and take a look at the conversations Severus Snape, Millicent Bulstrode,Pansy Parkinson and other characters had with the Sorting Hat before they were sorted in to Slytherin. Written for the "Conversation with a hat" Challenge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Severus Snape

Disclaimer- All hail JK Rowling! She is the one and only owner of the Potterverse. If it were mine I wouldn't be sharing Severus with anyone. 

* * *

"Snape, Severus"

_"Well, well, well, what do we have here?"_

"A boy, you brainless hat."

_"Oh, a boy, and one with an attitude too. Hmm... you know it's rude to talk to your elders like that young man."_

"You know— I could care less. Let's just get this over with."

_"Why so moody?"_

"You put my best friend in Gryffindor, that's why."

_"I could put you in Gryffindor too. Yes, you are very brave and loyal to your friend."_

"I don't belong in Gryffindor."

_"You may not think so child, but you do. For you see, your heart is full of bravery. You are like a lion waiting to attack and surprise your enemies if they dare to harm your friends and family. Yes, Gryffindor would be perfect for you."_

"Please don't put me in Gryffindor. I didn't mean to call you brainless."

_"Why don't you want to be a Gryffindor? Isn't your friend there?"_

"Lily won't care if I'm in Slytherin. She'll still be my friend."

_"Oh, so you want to go to Slytherin, don't you? Yes, you do have quite the amount of cunning, but why Slytherin?"_

"My mum was in Slytherin. If she finds out I'm in Gryffindor and freaks out, dad will— "

_"Your dad will do what, child?"_

"Nothing, just ignore what I said."

_"Hmmm, you know I wonder if perhaps I should put you in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff."_

"You know, I wonder how fast it takes a thousand-year-old hat to burn? Better yet, if one could use pieces of it for potion ingredients? Who's the Potions professor? I could ask them if it's possible."

_"The Potions professor is Horace Slughorn, and for your information, you can't burn me or use me to brew potions. That's cruel thinking for someone so young."_

"And your point is? Just put me in Slytherin, you have other people to sort you know."

_"You may not see all the Gryffindor qualities in yourself, but rest assured that they are there. Very well then, since you so desperately want to be a Slytherin, I shall grant you your wish, little Prince. Just remember to keep your friends close and always follow the goodness in your heart. Good luck in_

_SLYTHERIN!"_


	2. Millicent Bulstrode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time to sort Millicent....

Disclaimer- I don't own it an never will. JKR owns all the Harry Potter characters. I'm just borrowing them for fun.

* * *

"Bulstrode, Millicent"

_"Welcome to Hogwarts, my dear"_

"Wow, you can talk. That's so awesome!"

_"Thank you. Now, let's see what house we can put you in. Do you have any preferences?"_

"Hmm… not really. Could you tell me about the Head of each house? Maybe if I know a bit more, I can help you decided. Please?"

_"How could I refuse such a polite and charming young lady?"_

"I'm charming?"

_"You sound surprised."_

"Yes, well… no one has actually ever called me charming before. They usually just tell me to stop eating and lose weight. It's not my fault I'm bigger than most girls my age."

_"How very rude of them to tell you such a thing. Rest assured that you are charming. Now, let's get back to the matter at hand, shall we?"_

"Oh, yes, please."

_"Professor McGonagall is the Head of Gryffindor house. She is strict and does not tolerate laziness. Professor Flitwick, he is the Head of Ravenclaw. He is the Charms professor. Very caring man and loves to talk. He is also strict like Professor McGonagall, but not as much. Next up is Professor Sprout. She is the Head of Hufflepuff. She is the Herbology professor. She treats her students like her plants, with care and love. Finally, we come to Professor Snape. He is the Head of Slytherin and the Potions professor."_

"That's it? He's just the Head of Slytherin and teaches Potions?"

_"Well, my dear, there really isn't much to say about the man."_

"Is he mean? Kind? Smart?"

_"Oh, he's not smart. He's brilliant. He is the youngest Potions master in Hogwarts history. I haven't really talked to him since his sorting. But from what I do remember, is that he wasn't very kind. Threatened to burn me, that one did."_

"Hehehe"

_"Oh, you find that funny, don't you?"_

"I'm sorry, but it kind of is. Professor Snape sounds very interesting. May I please be in his house?"

_"You want to be a Slytherin?"_

"Oh, yes, please! Do you think I will fit in there with the others?"

_"Hmm… well… Gryffindor is out of the question, you're not reckless enough. Ravenclaw is also not an option. You're smart, yes, but I think you would rather be making friends instead of constantly studying. Hufflepuff and Slytherin, the two houses to choose from."_

"I don't want to be in Hufflepuff. It sounds like the kind of place where left overs are put."

_"Well, well, well, there is a lot more Slytherin in you, my dear, if you think that. Yes, I think Slytherin is where you belong. Just a bit of advice, though. When ever you doubt yourself, never hesitate to talk to your friends. There is one thing I should perhaps tell you. Professor Snape may not be the kindest of people, but he will always protect his snakes, when needed. Now, have fun in_

_SLYTHERIN!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- So what do you guys think? Like it? Love it? Hate it? Please review!
> 
> Next up is Pansy Parkinson


	3. Pansy Parkinson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Is that a blimp? Or a girl? Whatever it is, it's filled with hot-air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So for some reason the HTML refuses to work with this story. I don't know why, it might be because it hates Pansy or me. Somehow I get the feeling it's me it hates. 
> 
> Anyhow, I apologize if reading this is hard for a lot of you. I'll try to figure something out that wont kill the original way it's suppose to be. If you want to read more of these chapters look for it over at fanfiction.net under the same title. 
> 
> *picks a hammer off the grounds and continues to try and fix it*

Disclaimer- I don't own it! The Potterverse is not mine. If it was then I would be extreamly rich and have Severus all to myself.

* * *

"Parkinson, Pansy"

"Ah, a Parkinson, haven't seen one in years…"

"Shut up you moldy old hat! Put me in Slytherin already. That's the only house that's worthy of having me in it."

"I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. What did you say? You want to go to Gryffindor?"

"No! I said Slytherin!"

"I keep hearing Gryffindor. How about Hufflepuff?"

"SLYTHERIN"

"Ah, ah, ah! What's the magic word?"

"…"

"Sulking does not become you dear. Makes your face look like a monkey."

"How dare you! I'm beautiful! More beautiful than any other girl here."

"Oh, the lies they tell you. Now, why do you want to go to Slytherin?"

"Because, my whole family has always been in Slytherin. Also, because Draco Malfoy is in there. I'm going to marry him."

"How lovely…snore! Don't you ever think about anyone else besides yourself?"

"Hmpf! Why should I? I'm better than all of these losers."

"Takes one to know one"

"What did you say?"

"I said I'm surprised you can keep your feet to the ground with all the hot air running through your head. Hmm…hopefully Professor Snape has a potion for that problem in…

SLYTHERIN!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N- So, there you have it! Hope everyone enjoyed it. I sure did, it was too much fun making Pansy suffer. It's really difficult writing like this. But I hope you all liked it!
> 
> Thanks for my lovely beta debjunk, who helped make this story look amazing.
> 
> Please Review!
> 
> Next: Horace Slughorn

**Author's Note:**

> A/N- This was written for the "Conversation with a hat" Challenge. The challenge was to write a story with a character talking to the Sorting Hat using only dialogue, I thought it was easy then found myself utterly baffled as to how to write it, somehow I manged and I hope you'll all enjoy it. Thanks to my amazing beta debjunk for looking this through. Next up is Millicent.
> 
> Please review~!


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